Considering Starting A Family? Read This First

Every time I sit at my computer to work I am disrupted by, “MOMMY! Play with me!!!” It is not a request, it is a command. Zoey says this like a broken record, no matter how much I play with her. It hurts my heart to see her go off and resign to talking to herself right now. But I have logged my limit of hours at the dollhouse today, and I have something on my mind that I wanted to share.

*baby is crying, hold that thought for ten minutes while I put him back to sleep*

Ok, baby is down.

Back to where I was. I have been thinking about something. Since having baby number two, my life has become overwhelming. I am needed every minute of every day. I get work done by staying up till 3am a few times a week. It is the only time I can focus without being distracted.

I was watching a very talented and successful performer yesterday and it crossed my mind, if I didn’t have children would I be more successful, in a worldly sense?

My immediate answer to my own question was, nothing in life could mean more than having children. But my tired brain responded with another question. I spend my life keeping my kids alive, so one day they can keep their kids alive, so one day those kids can keep their kids alive… What is the point?? Is it just an endless cycle of people sacrificing independence and energy for somebody else?

So I kept thinking, because when your arms are full 24/7 with babies and toys, and your interactions are limited mostly to baby talk, your brain tends to spend a lot of time thinking.

Eventually I realized that the reason I spend my time building a family, rather than other things, is because building a family is investing in my future happiness. No other success (aside from my marriage) will keep me smiling till the day I die. Friends leave, money doesn’t talk and laugh with you, talent fades.

Family stays.

The answer I came to seems so obvious that I wonder why I even had this whole thought process. It is so easy to get your mind stuck in the mundane moments. Like changing a diaper for the fiftieth time, or bouncing a sick baby till your arms ache, or waking up at 5am to give your energetic babies breakfast, after not going to bed till 2am. It is easy to get stuck in the hard moments and forget the big picture.

Happy moments speed by without us thinking twice. We take them. We don’t question them, like we do the tough times.

After all this thinking I came up with a goal for myself for 2017. And I hope you guys will do the same. My goal is to remember the big picture, pay attention to and live in the happy moments and try to complain less. Out loud AND mentally.

Next time I’m annoyed cleaning puke off the carpet again, I’m going to imagine Zoey hugging me and saying I’m her best friend. I’m going to think of this morning. I had both my babies laying on my chest peacefully. Everything felt perfect. I am going to thank the heavens for that glowing smile Zander gives me in exchange for nothing more than a smile of my own. I’m going to chuckle as I remember Zoey throwing herself on the floor dramatically and exclaiming, “I am TOO DIZZY to clean my toys!!” after picking up two of them. And then five minutes later when she spun around to the song Let It Go on repeat for 15 minutes.

I am going to count my blessings that I have parents who love me and each other, and a unique assortment of siblings that add so much beauty, laughter and diversity to my life. And I will forever thank God that the stars alined and brought me Kris.

So those of you out there who are considering starting a family and wondering whether they should; just know, it is SO hard, and SO worth it.

Family is everything.

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