Recently I posted a cover of the song Perfect by One Direction and shared it on my social media pages – in the caption I wrote that I was sick of every song being about sex. Which is true. But I thought I should clarify a little. I am NOT a sex hater, in fact I love it and lots of it. What I should have said is I am sick of songs that try and make a one night stand sound romantic, or that glorify sexual relationships with no commitment.
One Direction sings “I will never be the guy who brings you flowers” and “I am not good at making promises”.
Picture this conversation:
My date: “Hey, so I just want you to know that I am not the kind of guy to be a knight in shining armor, I will probably never bring you flowers, you would NOT want me to meet your mother, but we can have sex tonight. Oh did I say sex – I meant I can love you tonight.”
My response: ‘Hello Mr. Bad News, goodbye.’
Somehow the song Perfect – equates lyrics like these with the word perfect. Which is fine I guess. If you really, honestly, truthfully get fulfillment and HAPPINESS from that type of relationship. But I have yet to meet a girl (or guy) who wants to “be the one you love from time to time…” until boredom sets in, or things get serious, or someone sexier walks by.
And isn’t it true that we all have so much more to offer to the world than ‘talking bodies’. I love being sexy and flirty and having fun – but I don’t like the way the media portrays SEX as the end all, be all of our existence. I am a wife, a woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am shy and I am smart and I like to sing. I have a sexy side too – but it is not something I share with just anyone. I am sure some people would call me a prude for saying that, but in a society where a woman’s body is a woman’s body to the point where we justify allowing her to kill her own, unborn child, it seems backwards that we would then mock the woman who decides she would rather not be eye candy, or give it up easily. So before you judge me for my against the grain thinking, think about that.
I never have looked at a man and thought “you have a perfect one, so put it on me.” Actually the thought of thinking that makes me sick. We have SO MUCH MORE than a perfect bodies. We are so much more than our animalistic desires. We have the capacity to create beautiful, thriving relationships that bring fulfillment and true happiness, better than the kind you find in fairy tales.
I am not questioning anyones right to make love to whomever they want, whenever they want. Or to sing about it to the entire world, if they want to. I am just thinking that the world needs to hear more of the truth. They need to hear about a deep, rich kind, of abiding love; one that is so much more than glorified, shallow passionate acts. I mean, how many parents out there really want their 13 year old daughters singing, “I just wanna look good for ya, good for ya … leave this dress a mess on the floor and still look good for ya.” They are singing it though. You would not believe how many 12 year old girls have written me asking to cover this song on my page, it is weird being in a world where girls half my age are being exposed to morals that feel so backwards to me.
I want my daughter believing she is so much more than a beautiful body. I want her to find someone one day who she would WANT to bring home, someone who brings her flowers and respects her for WHO she is not just WHAT she is. And I hope she will grow up learning to treat other people the same way that I hope she will be treated.
So with those thoughts in mind I changed the lyrics of the song Perfect to something that I felt aligned better with my personal beliefs and experiences regarding the topic of the song. It is nothing special just something quick I put together. Give it a listen – just click here!
