It seems silly that I even have to say this. But just so you all know, my life isn’t perfect. After hearing someone say something to that effect for the infinitieth time last week, I just thought I should clarify. While it is flattering to have people assume such nice things – it is also very isolating.
Rachael’s perfect. This isn’t something I started hearing when I started my blog, or Instagram page. I’ve been hearing comments like this as long as I can remember from family, friends, acquaintances and people who don’t even know me. I guess that looking from the outside, it is easy to assume you know me.
But, as is the case with most of us, many of my heartbreaks, trials and tragedies have been quite private. Not because I am ashamed to talk about them, but because other people are involved. It is simply not my place to share information publicly that might shame or embarrass someone from my past, or violate a friend or family members trust and privacy.
Again I feel stupid even saying this, because it just seems like common sense to me.
But if you think following ‘I hate you’ with a compliment is kind, you are wrong. People don’t want to be pretty and perfect and talented. People want to be loved and accepted.
If you think I try and make my life look perfect, take a second to read my posts about hyperemesis, infertility and just the utter exhaustion I feel being a mom of two – and doing it basically all on my own while my husband is working so hard at medical school. I am actually quite honest about my daily struggles if you take time to read my posts and not just look at my pictures. Of course the things I share on my blog aren’t the worst things life has to offer. But the hardest experiences life has dealt me, aren’t completely mine to share.
I’ve been through death, rejection, abuse and loss. I’ve been bullied and belittled, rejected, depressed, embarrassed and afraid. We all have been in these places at times. No one reading this is exempt from some of the harder cards life has to deal. As strange as it sounds, sorrow is something that binds us all together and makes us human. It gives us a sense of comradery. I just want to put it out there that I am not living on some lonely island of perfection, and neither do I want to be. Don’t put me, or anyone else, in that place.
We are all human, we are all doing this life thing together. But let’s actually do it together.
Like I said, I’ve had hard times just like everyone else. But I also have been blessed to have a lot of beauty and happiness in my life. More than I deserve. Through no merit of my own, I was taught the secret sauce to satisfaction in life, when I was just a kid. I am SO grateful for that gift. When I share the ‘perfect’ moments from my life online, I am not trying to make people jealous or envious or hateful (shocking, I know). I am hoping to give others hints and bits and pieces of what (I think) real happiness is made of, so hopefully they can find it for themselves too.
And in case you didn’t catch it, the main ingredient to happiness (from what I’ve seen) is FAMILY. Followed close behind by Hard Work, Positive Attitude and God. Having these things in my life has never guaranteed me happiness all the time. But they have given me a peaceful center, something to fall back on when life is rough and beautiful memories that outshine the negative ones.
My life isn’t perfect, but it has been perfect for me. If you have those four things in your life, you probably are going to start feeling like your life is perfect for you too.
Anyways. That is my rant + my two cents. Thanks for listening.
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