Moving to Erie has been amazing for so many reasons, but number one on the list is definitely the amazing friends I have made. I honestly could not have handpicked a better group of girls. These pictures are just a few of the girls from our awesome mom squad here in Erie. Moving can be scary, I was nervous that I would have a hard time finding good friends. Obviously I should not have been worried. Since it worked out well, I thought I would share a list of the what to look for in mom friends and what I think makes our group soooooo awesome. I also shared, based on my personal experience, things you should avoid in mom friends, so you can have a drama free group of girls.
What to look for in mom friends:
Moms who relate to your stage of life
I love all my beautiful mama friends. But I do find that the ones who are also on the medical school journey are especially great to be around. They understand what I am going through, and we all know how to support each other! Whatever stage of life your in, try and find other moms with similar aged children, or with similar interests. Having people to relate to can do amazing things for your confidence and overall happiness. These type of people make the perfect mom squad.
Ladies who make you laugh
These girls make me laugh SO hard every time I am around them. Laughter is good for the soul and I always feel rejuvenated after a night out with the girls. I have been in other groups of ladies where things are much more ‘sophisticated’ and it is so much harder to relax and be yourself in that type of setting. These girls are all just as weird as I am and I love them for it.
Girls that have your back when things get tough
There have been so many moments since I have moved to Erie where I have felt at the end of my rope. All I have to do is send a text and I know these ladies will have my back. Whether it is nursing troubles or the need for a night out, they are always willing to give advice, babysit or whatever I need.
People who respect, encourage and compliment you
Every time I am around these beautiful girls they compliment and encourage me. It is such a relief from other groups I have been a part of, where I have noticed competition or cattiness. I feel more confident when I spend time around these girls, rather than more self conscious.
Things to avoid in your mom squad:
We have all met those people who create drama wherever they go. Sometimes it is necessary to remove dramatic people from you life. If that is impossible, at least limit your interactions. I learned this the hard way when a particularly dramatic in my life created a situation that had to involve the police. She accused me of horrible things I would never do. Luckily her erratic behavior made it clear to the people involved that I was not at fault. This was an extreme situation, but the lesson is applicable here. The emotional stress dramatic people cause in your life can be very damaging.
People who tear you down or make you feel self conscious
Have you ever been on a play date that felt more like a job interview? You should be totally comfortable in your mom squad and not feel worried about what other moms are thinking. Also, girls who constantly say things like, “you are so pretty, I hate you.” or other backhanded compliments are not going to make your mom squad better. Spend time around people who are proud of your successes and good qualities. Spend time around moms who are happy when you succeed. People who find pain in your joy are not going to have your best interest at heart, or support you in your pursuits.
Avoid groups that gossip a lot. If your friends all talk bad about someone as soon as they leave the room, chances are they will do the same thing when you leave the room. Disrespecting someone when they aren’t even there to defend themselves is a low way to build your own self esteem. It just won’t work. Friends like these will just make you feel worse about yourself in the long run and have no place in your mom squad.
Groups designed to exclude someone
I can say from first hand experience, being purposefully excluded from a group is no fun. You should never be part of a group designed to make someone feel left out! I was recently involved in a group of moms who decided they didn’t like one girl. This girl accidentally missed a text message from another girl, and that girl decided to turn the whole group against her. In my experience this girl was very sweet and the missed message was a total mistake. But the group decided to specifically go out of there way to exclude her. I left this group and let them know exactly why. There is just no place for that type of immature behavior in a positive life or a supportive mom group.
Fair Weather Friends
You know those friends who only show up when they are in a crisis and need your help? Or the ones who are there whenever there is something for them to gain? I sometimes wonder if certain people think I don’t notice that they only show up at convenient times. These friends aren’t particularly harmful, but they definitely aren’t awesome mom squad materiel.
In all the five places we’ve lived since we got married I have never found a group of people quite like here in Erie. Being surrounded by friends like these amazing ladies is truly such a blessing and I think every mom deserves a mom squad like ours! Almost all of us had to leave family behind when we moved to Erie. All of us have had to really step up our mom games, with our husbands being in medical school. But the fact that it has brought us all together makes the tough times worth it! Love these ladies so much!
Do you find it hard to make mom friends? What do you look for in a mom friend?
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