Violet’s Birth Story

Throughout my pregnancy I thought that Violet would come early. I was pretty convinced that she would arrive on Zoey and Zander’s birthday, four weeks before her due date. When that day came and went I felt that each day might be the day we got to meet her. I had been having pretty severe pelvic pain for months, and I misinterpreted that to mean her head was low and ready to go.

When I finally was checked by my doctor at 37 weeks (I think…) I was shocked to hear that I was only a couple centimeters dilated and her head was nowhere near engaged. Turns out all that pelvic pain was due to SPD (separating pelvis), and not impending labor.

For the next few weeks I continued to have contractions on and off, pretty consistently at night. I was not progressing at all though. I really started to feel like she would stay inside of me forever, which was stressful considering my SPD was so bad at this point I could not even walk for more than a few minutes at a time.

On November 1st I went in to my doctor and had my membranes stripped to see if that could get labor started. I started having contractions after that, but they were pretty sporadic. They were 30-90 minutes apart, and not very intense.

Kris went to bed at around 11pm when I told him I was pretty sure I wasn’t going in to labor that night. I decided I was going to sit at my desk and not stop working till I was done all my work for the weekend, just in case baby came Saturday or Sunday. After sitting at my desk for an hour it suddenly dawned on me that my contractions were actually getting stronger and closer together. I was unable to concentrate on my work through them. They were starting to feel… real.

I looked at the clock. It said 12:13. I pulled out my phone and started timing the contractions. I was shocked to realize they were only 3 minutes apart, and they were lasting 45-60 seconds! For some reason I had felt like they were closer to ten minutes apart. Probably because I was distracted by work. You are supposed to go to the hospital when they are 4 minutes apart and lasting about a minute…

I think subconsciously I knew it was time to go to the hospital, but I started to feel anxious about giving birth, and convinced myself the contractions would stop.

I decided I could finish everything on my to-do list for that weekend, and then deal with this ‘situation’. My body didn’t get the memo and contractions kept getting stronger and stronger.

When it had been almost an hour, and they were getting more and more painful, I started to panic. I texted my sister Shaina and sister-in-law Kari for advice. I still didn’t want to wake Kris up and find a babysitter if it wasn’t actually time. They both told me to get my butt to the hospital, but I was frozen with anxiety. I slowly started getting dressed and pulling out my bags, etc. Both Shaina and Kari told me later that they had been just about to call and wake up Kris themselves, but decided against it before going to bed. I wish they had since I clearly wasn’t thinking straight.

Here are the text conversations I had with them – I don’t want to lose them. Excuse the swearing, I think that is the first time in my life I have sworn. I was panicking more than a little bit when I realized my contractions were only a minute apart and Kris was still sleeping. Somehow I was able to filter profanities in my text convo with my sister, and not my SIL.

So I had continued to get ready to go, pressing start and stop on my phone at the beginning and end of each contraction. When I finished getting my hair done and makeup packed I looked at my phone and realized my contractions had been one minute apart for about 10 minutes. It is amazing to me how productive I was in those seconds between contractions. When the adrenaline hits you can get so much done. I woke Kris up the moment I noticed/ He asked how far apart the contractions were and I told him one minute. That woke him up fast. He wasn’t super impressed that I waited that long to wake him… But ultimately, I was the one who had to pay a  big price for that hormonal/panicked decision I made to wait to the last second.

At this point I had called and texted every person I could think of to watch Zoey and Zander and hadn’t been able to get ahold of anyone. I was just walking outside to see if any of the neighbors lights were on, when someone from church answered their phone and said they could take the kids.

We hopped in the car and headed to drop the kids off. On the drive the contractions were so intense that I began to worry I wouldn’t get to the hospital in time to get an epidural. This had been my number one fear my entire pregnancy, I probably talked about it with Kris once every couple days. I made Kris drop me off at the hospital before dropping the kids off. I barely was able to walk myself into the ER. A police officer grabbed a wheelchair and ran me over to Labor & Delivery.

I told the nurse first thing that I needed the epidural ASAP. Of course, she had to follow procedure, check dilation, blood pressure, etc. The blood pressure cuff was broken and that alone took about 15 minutes (although the pain could have made it feel longer to me). I was at 4cm and baby’s head was engaged, so she called the anesthesiologist to come give me an epidural. Nobody seemed rushed about anything – except for me. I was panicking inside because my instinct told me she was going to come fast.

Shortly after that the contractions were so intense that I began to be sure I wasn’t going to get the epidural in time. I could feel her head was getting really low. The pressure was getting stronger with each contraction. When the nurses left the room I told Kris I wasn’t going to let anyone check how dilated I was anymore because they definitely wouldn’t give me the epidural if they did. I could feel her head coming right on out. I literally tried squeezing my legs together to stop it so I could get the epidural before I had to push her out. Pushing Zander out with little to no pain relief was extremely traumatic for me, and I didn’t want that again…

I actually started to have a panic attack because I was so afraid. It was everything in my power to stop hyperventilating/crying uncontrollably in between contractions – but I made myself stop because that made the pain way more intense. I still felt like I was panicking so they gave me some IV drugs that didn’t do anything for the pain, but they helped me calm down, which was a huge relief.

Now all I had to do was focus on getting through each contraction. I still don’t think I was ‘loopy’ because I felt totally conscious of everything going on, including the extraordinary pain. But I did feel like I could not stop talking in between each contraction, and I even started laughing really hard in between one contraction set at the thought of how funny it would be if I was laughing while I was in labor. Thank you Kris for capturing that on video….

The drugs wore off quickly and I was back to feeling panicked and afraid. The contractions were excruciating and by this point I am pretty sure the whole hospital floor could hear me yelling in pain through them.

I think the anesthesiologist arrived at around 3:45AM. My doctor still hadn’t arrived. I was so relieved that the epidural was there, but at this point I was literally screaming in pain. The contractions were one on top of another with no breaks in between, and I could feel that I must be 9 or 10cm dilated. I felt like it would be time to push at any moment.

I sat on the edge of the bed and had my arms around Kris’s neck as the doctor got ready to put the epidural in. I was praying they wouldn’t check me for dilation because I knew if they did they wouldn’t have even tried to give me the epidural. They didn’t check.

The nurse kept reassuring me that this doctor was so fast at doing epidurals, and that the pain would be gone soon. The only thing that got me through each contraction was the thought of an epidural, but in the back of my mind I think I knew it wasn’t going to happen.

As the doctor put the numbing needle in my back in preparation for the epidural, my water broke. It went all over Kris. Lucky him! I had never had my water break on its own with Zoey and Zander. I didn’t think the pain could be more intense, but it went from hell, to hell on steroids.

This part of the story I was completely unaware of, but Kris told me after: The nurse gave the anesthetist the lidocaine to put in my back. He pushed half the syringe in and said, “Ok, I am going to put the rest in.” The nurse said to him, “Oh just so you know that is 5 not 2.5 lidocaine.” Kris said the doctor looked angry and said, “What?! That is C-section level. She needs to get on her back NOW or she could stop breathing.”

I remember him telling me to lie on my back, but the pain was so intense and I literally could not move my body. I was screaming I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I could hear that he was getting more worried, but I still couldn’t move. Everyone was telling me to get on my back now. In my mind I was hoping they would help me lie down, but all that kept coming out of my mouth was NO, I can’t move! As the nurses and doctor literally grabbed my arms and legs and forced me to lie down I screamed DON’T IT HURTS STOP STOP STOP. They put an oxygen mask on me since I wasn’t breathing well due to the pain.

The moment I laid down I knew she was coming out right then. Nobody had to tell me.

Everyone else seemed surprised when the nurse said she could see the head coming out now. I began to push before she even had finished announcing that it was time to the room. The ER doctor came in sometime during this since my OB was still not there. I felt so panicked and so motivated at the same time since I knew it was almost over. Three to five pushes and her head was out. A couple more and her body was out. Each push I hoped the epidural would kick in, but it never did.

There was nothing more relieving than that moment when she arrived! I wanted Kris to be the one to catch the baby, like he did with Zoey and Zander. But when it came that time I couldn’t let go of his hand, and needed him with me during that part.

Baby Violet Dawn Burgess arrived at 4:13AM on 11/2/18. Exactly four hours from when I started timing contractions to the minute. Exactly on her due date. Exactly one month after Zoey and Zander’s birthday. She was 8lbs, 1oz and 21 inches long.

Since she came out so fast she looked so perfect the moment she arrived. Her face wasn’t squished and purple like Zoey’s and Zander’s had been. Kris couldn’t stop saying how beautiful she was, and neither could I.

Whatever portion of the epidural had been injected in me had no time to take effect. They took it out right away and I was up and walking to the bathroom ten minutes after I had her. I am still a little confused as to why I experienced no numbing at all after she was born. I am happy I didn’t though. I would not have been impressed if I had went through all of labor epidural free, only to be unable to move the lower half of my body after it was all over.

My worst fear came true, delivering a baby with no epidural. Yet immediately after she was born I felt so good about the experience. The contractions were worse, but the actual pushing was less painful than when Zander was born. And I think I had mentally prepared myself for this scenario my entire pregnancy, so I wasn’t as shocked and traumatized when it happened.

I didn’t tear or swell or bruise! Same as with Zander. I feel like I really luck out in the recovery department. It has been exactly one week since she was born and other than a tiny bit of bleeding I’d never know I had given birth! I am mentally bracing myself for exhaustion, PPD, etc. But just enjoying this after birth high as long as possible.

We chose the name Violet because it is one we both loved, and Dawn is my moms middle name. Name meanings are really important to us, and hers as a very literal meaning. Violet Dawn, purple sunrise, or a beautiful sunrise. To me it signifies a beautiful beginning at the end of a long hard journey – both this pregnancy and medical school. It signifies a bright and glorious gift at the end of a long night. She truly has been that. I also love that purple is known as the color of royalty, since she truly is our little princess.

She has been an angel every moment since she was born. She rarely cries. She loves cuddling which is so, sooooo, so satisfying to me. Her older siblings adore her and are so tender and loving with her. We absolutely love her to pieces.

PS – this was me about 5 hours after Violet was born after I had a chance to nap and put on makeup. I texted Kris this picture and the text, “I AM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE”, because I was sooooo excited to not be sick and uncomfortable. Obviously Violet was the most exciting part of Violet’s birth story, but being well again was a close second. Although my nausea didn’t go away completely for about 2 days – it was still SO, so great.

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